6.18.26

Letters will be good for now...    

“They climb the mountain to see the castle, and they wind up thinking that the past was better than what we have now.”  - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

  

    I’ve finally picked up a book that might have some meaning and weight in my life. It was only the first few pages, but this quote speaks volumes to me, serving as a warning about nostalgia and fear. Santiago, a shepherd boy on a journey to find treasure in Egypt, meets a crystal merchant who explains that he is afraid to leave the life he knows and clings to the dream of traveling rather than living it. This exemplifies how we imagine that the past was better because it feels familiar. We avoid pursuing our calling because success would require change. The merchant’s identity became wrapped up in maintaining the life he had built. I guess that sounds kind of familiar? It’s easy to say that maybe some of the best days are behind us. But that’s the crystal merchant in us that’s talking. 

    However, the novel challenges that mindset and asks, “Are you remembering the past accurately, or are you idealizing it because the future requires courage?” The book isn't saying the past was bad. It's saying that if you spend all your energy looking backward, you'll miss the reason you were called forward. I guess a central message from this part of the novel is that the future God is calling you toward can be greater than the version of life you're tempted to return to.

    

That realization led me to think differently about love itself... not just where we were going, but how we were holding on to one another.

    

    Now, remember Calcifer? And Howl? They had a magical pact that made them bound to each other. Calcifer is powerful because he powers the castle. Yet, he can't fully be himself because he's bound to something outside of himself. However, Howl and Calcifer both need each other. At the climax, Sophie realizes the nature of the contract, and she removes Calcifer from the castle to ultimately return Howl's heart to him. Howl becomes whole again, and Calcifier is free and unbound by the magic.

    However...their relationship continues, but the unhealthy dependency ends. The story isn't resolved by one controlling the other more; it's resolved when the unhealthy bond is broken. I think this film teaches that sometimes God allows something to break completely so He can make us whole again. And, in becoming whole again, we can finally know what it means to love deeply and wholeheartedly.

    

    This led me to another story (although I haven't fully read it) that helped me understand what it means to rediscover who we are.

    

    Violet, in Fourth Wing, begins her journey defined by others' expectations. She faces challenges as doubts from her peers constantly come her way. Throughout her journey, she doesn't find herself by looking backward or by becoming what others expect, but by walking through difficulty and allowing it to reveal who she truly is. She rediscovers herself by stepping into uncertainty and allowing the challenges before her to reveal the strengths she never knew she possessed.  Like many stories throughout Scripture, neither of us knows what God is doing yet. But Scripture repeatedly shows that God often reveals our identity as we walk forward, not as we stand still. In some ways, I think that's what this season has been for both of us.

I think that's why all these stories have resonated with me.

The Alchemist taught me that we can't spend our lives looking backward and believing our best days are behind us.

Howl's Moving Castle taught me that love should never require us to lose ourselves.

Fourth Wing taught me that some of the hardest seasons of our lives can reveal who we truly are. 

I know that we have ultimately closed the last chapter of our book. I don't know what chapters God has ahead of us, but I know that the first chapter of our solo journeys is already being written. I'm beyond grateful for the love we shared, the passion and intimacy, the moments we celebrated, and the times we could hold each other through sadness.

The most comforting thought is this...If something is truly held by God's hands, it never has to be held together by our fear.

There's another quote from Fourth Wing that resonated with me, but before we get into that, let's consider two things from the Bible:

Psalm 139: "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I run from your presence?"

Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Through this Biblical lens, Xaden's line in the book becomes an echo of God's presence already there wherever either of us goes. The deepest reassurance isn't that two people can find each other, but it's that neither person can ever wander beyond the reach of God (even from the pain we are both experiencing).

If God is truly the author of our stories, then no distance, no season, and no path of growth can cause us to miss what He intends.

"There's nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn't find you..." - Xaden, Fourth Wing

Happy Birthday!

Love,

    JP